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Some resolutions for divorcing and divorced parents

It is now February. The symbolism of the new year has passed and statistics indicate that if you made any resolutions at the beginning of January that you have likely not stuck to them with the focus that you had originally intended. However, there is good news to be had. Resolutions can be made at any time of the year. And if you are among the many individuals currently navigating a divorce process or its immediate aftermath, there is no time like the present to set some new, healthy intentions.

If you have a child who is weathering the rough waters of divorce with you, it may benefit both you and him or her if you set some resolutions focused on your child's best interests. Setting this kind of intention and pursuing it in loving and committed ways may help you both heal more fully from your divorce.

Only you can best understand what kinds of resolutions your child may benefit from. However, we can offer a few ideas to get you started in crafting your new intentions. First, if you or your child is at all struggling with feelings of blame and shame at the moment, resolving to take those destructive forces out of your house in word and deed can serve as an excellent goal for healing. Both of you are entitled to have and to express negative emotions connected with the divorce. But ultimately, neither blame nor shame are healthy or healing emotions under the vast majority of circumstances.

Second, you may both benefit from spending more time together or better respecting each other's need for space. Your unique circumstances may serve as a guide for this resolution. In either event, resolving to show your child love, affection and respect even when he or she is driving you bananas is an important element of this resolution.

Source: The Huffington Post, "'Because We Both Love You' -- New Year's Resolutions for Divorced Parents," Kate Scharff, Dec. 30, 2013

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